Movie 1st Issue

Movie

The new STAR WARS movie is coming out I think it’s called, like “Return/Revenge/Attack of the Ugly Duckling!” These are some of the facts leaked out!
First 100 minutes only moisture farming
Yoda hit by train
Characters given hilarious parodic names, like Yogurt and Pizza The Hutt.
Brief but crucial scene explaining why Wookies have rejected pants
Obi-Wan delivers urgent message “They’re using a jazz guitarist named Django Reinhardt to create a clone army!”
Boy meets girl, lightsaber fight, boy loses girl, space vehicle chase, boy gets girl back, final battle won by green, 900 year old alien with walking stick and a green laser sword.
I know, I can’t wait either!

OOOOH the E.T. Remake is out. Some of the changes are:
1. Revised John Williams score swells 40% more majestically!
2. Elliot advises E.T. he can phone home for less with the Sprint Nickel Any Time plan!
3. A bunch of dinosaurs thrown into background!
YEEEEEEAHHHH! Just want we want!
Some from the Onion
Forrest Stewart, logging off, for MCC News!