Sports 1st Issue

Sports

The Major League Baseball players union has set up a strike on January 1st if the following demands are not met.
Fans in stands are not allowed to make eye contact with the players.
35% insaner salaries
Phrase: Spoiled little crybaby millionaires, to be taken out of all contracts.
Minimum wage raised to 1.2 gajillion bazillion dollars.
Fans required coming back, and still idolize players in event of season-ending strike.
I can’t wait for the next game!
Onion
Forrest Stewart, logging off, for MCC News!